Bumming around town with Bill Bumerton
Bumerton is a retired Navy fighter pilot who had been missing in action for several years while he traversed the globe looking for greener grass. He discovered the grass is only greener here (it’s blue in Kentucky), so he returned to again take charge of his 1954 green Hudson Hornet that had been in storage, refilled his pipe, and is continuing his smokin’ ways. Here is what he recently told us at the Sports Paper.
Hey, Big Dawg, did you see the final score of the DuBois –Meadville high school football game last month in Pennsylvania? I read about it in the Faces In the Crowd section of Sports Illustrated. It was unbelievable. Meadville, led by running back Journey Brown, who I can tell you went on a long journey that night, beat DuBois 107-90. Yup, Big Dawg, that is a correct score in a high school football game. Brown, a 5-11, 180-pound junior with enough speed to have won the sate 100 meter championship last spring (11.36 seconds), carried the ball 30 times for 722 yards and 10 touchdowns. His rushing total smashed the state record of 500 yards and ranks No. 2 all-time on the National Federation of State High School Associations rushing list for a single game behind the 754 yards John Giannantonio of Netcong (New Jersey) rushed for in a 1950 game. But that’s not all, Big Dawg. The DuBois quarterback, 6-2, 190-pound Matt Miller, a sophomore playing his first varsity game, threw for a national record 787 yards and 10 touchdowns. Meadville rushed for a national record 1,004 yards and the 1,908 total yards the two teams combined for is also a national record Obviously, big dawg, the two teams are in desperate need for defensive coordinators. Since you can’t do much of anything else, maybe you should apply for one of the jobs, Big Dawg. You couldn’t do much worse. But, then again, maybe you could. … I get a big kick, Big Dawg, out of all the sports talk jocks on Seattle radio that complain about the Seachickens bad defense and I about puke. It’s not about defense, you shock jockers, it’s the absence of a consistent offense that is the major cause of the Seachickens nose dive this season in the No Fun League. I guarantee you that if the Seachickens would have just been able to keep a few offensive drives alive in the late going that they would be sitting at least 4-2 instead of 2-4 heading into Thursday’s game against the 49ers in California. I warn you Big Dawg that if the offense continues to sputter down there in the Golden State they will come home with a 2-5 record. They need some better receivers and need to have a quarterback who has the ability to set up in the pocket and go through his progressions and connect on what receivers he has. Until then, Big Dawg, it doesn’t look good. … Speaking of defense, what has happened to those boys in Port Orchard? Yes, I’m talking about South Kitsap. The Wolves that used to make the state playoffs year after year are looking pretty bad. They are allowing almost 42 points a game. You can’t win many games that way, Big Dawg, unless you are Meadville and score 107. That’s about it for today, Big Dawg, let’s get in the Green Hornet and go to the movies and see Bridge of Spies. I heard that it’s pretty good. So grab your money belt and let’s do it. You also get the popcorn.
