Bumming around town with Bill Bumerton

Bumerton is a retired Navy fighter pilot who had been missing in action for several years while he traversed the globe looking for greener grass. He discovered the grass is only greener here (it’s blue in Kentucky), so he returned to again take charge of his 1954 green Hudson Hornet that has been in storage, refilled his pipe, and is ready to continue his smokin’ ways. Here is what he recently told us at the Sports Paper.

Jock shock sports talking heads today were all talking about how the Seachickens have finally found ways to win ugly, as opposed to last year when they lost these close games. They keep saying it as a positive, that it defines a team as great when they can overcome sloppiness to win. I disagree, Big Dawg. I don’t think the Seachickens are as good as they have been made out to be. I know that they are without their two starting offensive tackles, and now wide receiver Sidney Rice, is out for the year with an injury, but even at full health I’m not a believer. Teams lately seem to have found ways to take advantage of weaknesses, especially the inability to stop the run. They are getting gnashed. And that secondary that is supposed to be very good (yes, Earl Thomas is really, really good), can’t seem to slow down back-up quarterbacks’ aerial attacks. And one of these Sundays, Russell Wilson is going to get killed. Having Russell Okung and Breno Giacomini back will shore up some of the offensive line weakness, but will it solve it all? I don’t think so. The good thing the Seachickens have going for them is that the No Fun League is a crazy swill of teams that can beat up on each other on any given Sunday. The only real weak sisters are the Jaguars, the Buccaneers, the Steelers, Vikings, Giants and Falcons. And, like I said, on a given Sunday those teams can pull out a win. While I’m at it, Big Dawg, the NFL has to do something to figure out what is a fumble and an interception. Man, I seen some dubious calls on Sunday, and now I don’t know what end is up. Sometimes I think they go under the hood to review tape from the play and while they are under the hood they flip a coin to decide the call, because there doesn’t seen to be any clear consistency. The other thing is that the No Fun League is hard on coaches. First it’s John Fox and now Gary Kubiak that has bitten the dust.  No wonder Tony Dungy swats away every offer to go back on the sideline. If you die along the sidelines, you don’t get to spend the millions you make. … Your teenage kid keeps you informed on how the NBA is going now that its season is underway. He has it all nailed down, all the way down to the last man on the bench of each team. So, how do you handle all the information he hands down to you? You just say, “Yeah, I knew that,” even though you have no idea what he is talking about. But, that’s how you have been for the nearly 44 years you have written sports around here; you got everybody fooled. Someday you are going to get caught, Big Dawg. In the meantime, run down to that moonbucks place and get me a tall latte. … Hey, Big Dawg, you can still play basketball. All you have to do is sign up at the BremertonParks and Recreation for the boy’s basketball league. You might be a few years too old, but what the heck, they need somebody they can pound on and beat to the baseline down there, so go ahead and try and sign up. The real ages are 12-15 for one division and 16-18 for the other. League play runs from Dec. 7 through Feb. 22 at Sheridan Park Gym in east Bremerton. Each team plays eight division games plus is entered in the Kiwanis Goldenball Tournament. Registration deadline is Nov. 20. Cost is $310 per game or $45 per individual. For more information you, Big Dawg, can contract the parks department athletic office at (360) 473-5427, which I believe is where Scott Evans sits and eagerly awaits your phone call. You can also go to the Bremerton City Website at www.ci.bremerton.wa.us and click on parks and recreation, sports, and then basketball. Good luck. … Jeremy Sears won the Kitsap Scratch Bowlers Association Kingston Collison Glass Open held at All Star Lanes in Silverdale. He beat back the challenge of Tim Clemens, who rolled only the ninth 300 game in history of a KSBO TV Finale. Clemens got his 300 while beating Daryl Anderson, who shot a 183. Sears beat Clemens 225-217 in the title match, giving him his sixth KSBO championship. In The Garage Bar Grill 205-and-under Division tournament, Emmy Thomas stopped Brandon VanWinkle, 231-196, to win the title. Thomas was the leader after the qualifying round and also after the semifinals. It was her first title.