What do golf and the Olympics have in common?

They are too expensive, too difficult, and too long.

The number of golfers starting and quitting the game has been about the same for the past 10 years. Most golfers stop playing or play less golf than they would like because of several factors.

One is everything is too expensive. If I take my family of five skiing for the day it costs $300, if I pack lunches.

The Olympics for the day?

It is not the expense of golf but the length of time for golf that I’m talking aobut. Alcoholics will find money for booze, and golfers find money for their habits, whatever they may be.

I told myself I wouldn't write about Tiger. Sorry.

Why does golf take so long?

The only reason golf takes a long time to play is because some people play the game very slowly. They are like glaciers out on the links – frozen men and women, unable to read a green until it is their turn to putt. They are unable to put on a golf glove while another player hits and evidently incapable of fitting in and playing within the rhythm of the game. They must slow it doooooowwwwwn.

The worst part about slow golfers is the masses are too nice to say anything. We play with them and tolerate it or we play behind ’em and curse them.

Are you molasses on the greens?

Are you the tortoise of the teeing ground?

How long does it take to walk five miles? If five hours is the answer you might consider lengthening your stride.

I will admit that fast greens require us to retrace our steps a few times, and raking bunkers slow down the sprint. But what else really takes that long in golf?

NBC Sports executives must all take three hours to play nine holes and then tape delay the back nine. Unfortunately, they don't edit out the bad shots.

I love the Olympics, but does it really take seven hours to see three events? If they could edit as well as they tape delay, they might make a par.

Listening to Bob Costas set up an event is like waiting for Bob Topandshankalot to go through his five-minute pre-shot routine. Just get to the action and drop all the drama.

I understand NBC paid a lot of money for the rights to televise the Olympics, and commercials pay the bills. I get it. I just don't like it.

We golfers do the same thing.

It takes us too long to prepare to do too little. Aim, waggle, swing and walk and you will not only play in less time, but probably in fewer strokes.

I can’t do anything about NBC, but hopefully I can help you make golf less difficult and faster. Golf is not a race, but it is no marathon. Cut out the commercials from your foursome and play the game.

There is plenty of time in four hours to walk five miles, hit a ball 100 times and share a few stories.

We might not be able to watch a gold medal ceremony in real time, but we should be able to play golf on time.

Go for the gold.